Teen Stress is Real

by Michelle Howard (All rights reserved)

Stress does not only affect adults.  Too often, we adults focus on the events and issues acting in our own lives without regard or considering that young people experience stress as well.  Teens can have particular difficulty with issues in life that may cause unhealthy stress to burden them.  While younger children can also encounter stress such as experiencing the divorce of parents, it becomes more prevalent when young people become teenagers.  Teenagers are a lot more vulnerable to physical and emotional stress.

Some examples of stressors that may cause stress in teens are: the death of a loved one (friend or family), taking a school exam, a public speaking event, home life parents such as an alcoholic or drug abusing parent, abuse in the home, divorce or separation of parents, moving, attending a new school and the list can continue.  Teens often experience the stress of peer pressure; trying to be down with the "in crowd", dating and relationships all can cause stress.  Adults have to be careful to watch for signs of depression or stress in teens.  Adults don't necessarily need to be parents either.  Teachers can play a large role in the life of a teen helping to identify and even get help for a teen in "di-stress."  Teens are people too and they are growing into adults.  With that come the confusion of puberty (ex: girls getting their menstruation), growing into maturity (developmentally and emotionally) and huge responsibilities.  Teen Stress can often be the result of such overwhelming circumstances.

Teens need to be informed that there are two ways they can handle stress: the right way and the wrong way.  Here are some examples (unhealthy) of how NOT to handle stress:

• Covering up your problems
• Taking drugs and/or drink alcohol.  It provides a temporary escape for what you are going through but when you are done abusing your body, the problem(s) still exist.
• Sexing everything in sight - temporary pleasure which can cause eternal damage

Studies have shown that girls are more affected than boys are because girls usually respond to stress by seeking help while boys tend to respond to stress by not dealing with it or internalizing problems.

Handle It - Here are ways that girls AND boys can overcome stress the RIGHT (healthy) way:

• Talk to God (I hear He's a great listener and gives good advice too)


• Talk to a close friend you can trust who is non-judgment (usually not someone you have only known a short while


• Play some music- You can listen to it deliberately or use it as a mix into whatever else you're doing. -works as soothing background noise.


• Go the park and ride on the swing or ride a bike


• Read a good book (back to God - The Bible has some amazing stories of people encountering potentially stressful events and overcoming - Try reading the book of Daniel.  Daniel and his friends were about to be thrown into a fiery furnace for their faith.  Daniel handled the situation by talking to God and God answered his cries.  Daniel was also thrown in a lions den. Read the book for the final outcome)


• Engage in sports


• Drink some hot cocoa, sit back and watch a comedy (preferably a PG version - Comedian Sinbad is usually good for those)


• Draw - It's ok, you don't have to be an artist to draw to relieve stress


• Learn to appreciate nature - Take a walk in a park or stroll on a beach


• Recognize that you were created beautiful just the way you are


• Say to yourself several times daily, "God loves me." It's ok if you don't believe it right away.  Speak it long enough and you will.  Knowing God's perfect love is sure to bust up any form of stress


• Rearrange your bedroom or your dresser drawer or your closet


• Do some spring cleaning (doesn't have to be spring time to get rid of the old and focus more on the new)


• Reorganize your book shelves.  You may be surprised at what books you haven't read, would like to read again or would like to donate to someone else

As you can see, there are many ways that teens can alleviate stress in their lives.  More ways right than wrong.  Also, I'd like to let every teen that may be reading this know that it's OK not to be a part of the so called "In" crowd.  You were born an individual and you have special talents and gifts that you were blessed with that others don't have.  You may be good at school work.  You may be an excellent artist.  You may be a great writer.  You may be good at designing or organizing or just making others laugh.  Whatever it is, let that be the determining factor for helping define who you are and not pressure from another person.

Of course there are times when a teen will experience some things that are emotionally difficult to handle.  When that is the case and helplessness seems to be the dominating feeling, teens should seek help from their parents or other responsible adult such as a doctor or counselor.   In no way should a teen or any person for that matter be left feeling that there is no hope to a situation.

Additional Reading: Stress Management for Parents, Types of Stress