Using Christian Dating Guidelines to Fight Dating Peer Pressure

© Michelle Howard Smith - All Rights Reserved

While dating is a good exercise to meet different people and weed out those who may not be worthy of your time, it can also brings with it the complications of pressure from the person you are dating and also peer pressure from friends and family. A classic example of dating peer pressure is the woman who has been single a long time and when she finally starts dating again, her whole family tries to speed up the process and tries to get her married off.  Another example is when seemingly well meaning friends may pressure you to have sex with the person you are dating.  Then, there's the person you are actually dating, pressuring you for sex.

Being a Christian, I don't believe that people should be dating just for the sake of dating. One reason is the dating peer pressure experienced.  I think that dating should be a period of getting to know a person in a relationship before marriage.  Dating should be a time to learn about a person you are considering a life long commitment to - learning about their likes and dislikes and also witnessing that person's behavior and how they react to specific situations.  I don't believe dating should be used to fulfill physical or emotional gratifications.

The Guidelines

If you are someone who believes in only having sex after marriage and have engaged in regular dating, then you understand what I'm talking about.  While I am now married and no longer subject to the pressures of dating, I think it's important for others to know that there are some specific guidelines you can follow to help avoid the pressures that dating brings with it. Here are some guidelines that are outlined in "The Successful Family" book, written by my pastors, Dr. Creflo and Taffi Dollar:

1. Establish and maintain a friendship in order to build a healthy romantic relationship in the future.  Make it clear that you want to spend time forming a friendship and that you aren't presently looking for a deeper commitment.
   
   
2. Avoid discussions of a deeper commitment or marriage at the beginning of a friendship including talks about personal finances, sex or a future together.
   
   
3. Don't manipulate a person into a relationship you or the person you are dating may not be ready for.  Avoid sending messages that may make you become more familiar too soon.
   
   
4. Introduce the person you are forming a new friendship with to friends and family but make it clear that you are only friends.  Friends and family can often see things about the other person that you may not.
   
   
5. Maintain your daily routine and do not change your lifestyle to accommodate the other person. Include the person you are getting to know in activities with family and friends and observe interactions.
   
   
6. Ladies, Allow the man to pursue you.  (Enough said!)
   
   
7. Set boundaries and avoid spending too much time alone, especially in the evening.
   
   
8. Avoid stirring up fleshly desires by being selective with the movies and music you choose to listen to.


9. Avoid tongue kissing and heavy petting...especially behind closed door.  By abstaining, you are building excitement and anticipation for when you finally get married....if you make it that far.


10. Seriously consider if you want a lifelong relationship with this person by examining their character flaws.  Ask God for direction and then wait to see if you have the peace to move forward.

Following the above guidelines for Christian dating will help with avoiding some of the dating peer pressure that is commonly experienced.

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A good read: Dating: God's Way versus The World's Way

Additional Reading: First Date Tips - Dating Tips for Men and Women